How to answer the question "What do you do?"

This is a curious question.

When asked by an Uber driver I often respond with “I am in the water industry” - and quickly follow-up by asking ‘And you? Is this your 9-5?” That’s often enough to keep them talking and take the focus off of me.

I’ve never been particularly good at answering this question. I don’t know why.

In part I feel like most people that ask aren’t genuinely interested in hearing the answer. At best, it’s meant to be a conversation starter and a way to build common ground so they can find a way to make a potentially awkward car ride more enjoyable. At worst it’s a way to discover how much money you make, your political or religious affiliations, your sexuality, ethnicity, or something more secret.

And then, typically, talk about themselves.

My experience is that most strangers want to categorize you into a convenient mental box and determine if you’re worthy of a more detailed conversation. It’s sad that a question like ‘What do you do?’ is used as a toll-gate to determine if you’re worthy of someone's time.

There’s so much more to an individual than their work.

So, for my close friends and family, my answer is a bit more nuanced and varied - “Oh, it depends on the day. Most of my time is spent as a software entrepreneur in the water industry. Other days I wear an investor hat. At nights I’m usually a reader or mediocre gamer. I also enjoy writing.”

This is usually good for a few follow-up questions and some depth on a particular topic, depending on mutual interests. If my mom is in the room she might also respond by saying ‘he’s also really good at getting injured!’. (And she’s right - 6 surgeries later).

But if I ask myself the same question - ‘what do you (I) do?’ - the answer is different.

I think of my life like a game of bowling. The lane is my trajectory, the ball represents an action or series of actions I can take. The pins are my goals that I’m aiming towards and the gutters, or ‘bumpers’, are the guiding principles that help me navigate my way.

What do I do? I play the best bowling game that I possibly can.

First, I ensure my bumpers will keep me on track towards hitting my goals (the pins). Right now my bumpers are:
- Working to help others live up to their full potential
- Being a supporting, loving husband to my wife
- Being a man of character and trustworthiness
- Working to better the planet for generations that come

Second, I assign goals to pins. These can change by day, week, month, or year, but I make sure they are achievable and realistic. Right now my goals are:
- Establish and maintain meaningful relationships and engage in philanthropy
- Spend quality time with my wife
- Read and write on topics like self improvement and surround myself with mentors
- Grow my engineering automation business, Transcend, and be a voice in the water industry.

Lastly, I try to pick the right ball (my actions) to roll down the lane to hit the pins. Right now the balls I’m throwing are varied, but can look like these:
- Taking a friend to coffee who is struggling with starting their own company, or volunteering with Big Brothers Big Sisters of Kansas City
- Taking my wife on ‘mystery dates’ every other week
- Reaching out to one local entrepreneur a month who can help hold me accountable for personal growth
- Generating one new, substantial interaction with a customer every single day

Only a select few people really understand my answer to the question “What do you do?”.

For everyone else, maybe I should respond by saying I’m a bowler.